I don’t know about anyone else, but the post-Christmas comedown has hit me hard today. That’s in harsh contrast to yesterday when I was bouncing with bubbliness and singing all day (I’ve often been told that I sing when I’m happy, but the news doesn’t always reach my conscious self! Thankfully, on this occasion I was fully aware though!)
But back to today’s ‘downer-day’. It’s a common experience for many of us after spending a decent stint off work, but it definitely took me by surprise. What was the cause…? First day back at work perhaps? The fact that I only had 4-5 hours sleep last night (insomnia)? The freezing & extremely strong wind that almost knocked me off my bike? The huge list of house/personal jobs I’ve got looming (phone calls to make, bills to pay, roofer to call, car to fix, room to organise….)?
Do you know what I mean? Do you get the January blues? What’s caused it for you?
Boredom. That’s what it was for me today.
Frustration and the yearning for adventure.
Or maybe it’s just hormones.
The thing is, I love my job. I love the fact that I can use my skills and I have a valuable role to play. And all-in-all there are very few mundane activities involved. Yet at the same time I get excited by a heck of a lot of other things! I have to force my mind NOT to wander. I managed it for a lot of the day, but sometimes it’s like all the dreams and ideas are battering-ramming down that wall. Eventually I caved and let my threads of interest unravel.
- I thought about how to become a ski instructor
- I thought about where and when and which course and budgets and currencies
- I thought about how long I would enjoy that for
- I thought about snow parks and stunts and how I could never do that and then about how everyone has to start somewhere
- I thought about jobs I could do here, in the mountains, in other countries, now and after I return from a long adventure
- I thought about businesses I could run and how I’d like to partner with somebody
- I thought about when and how I’d fit in having a family amongst all the other dreams
- I thought about whether marriage and kids and all that was even on the cards for me and how you never know about these things
- I thought about how everyone expects you to be the same as them, to be ‘sensible’ and to ‘settle down’
- I thought about the importance of being grounded and knowing a sense of calling and purpose, whatever it is you’re doing
- I thought about how many friends I’m going to have in future who I haven’t even met yet
- I thought about how intimidating it might be for a man when he encounters a strong-willed adventurous woman in relationships or business
- I thought about businesswomen I admire, then about other women I admire, then men
- I thought about moving house and getting rid of possessions
- I thought about lodging and what a blessing and challenge that could be
- I thought about whether I could ever re-home my dog and if so how I would do that
- I thought about freedom and responsibility going hand in hand
- I thought about how short life is
- I thought about how important it is for me to live my own life and not someone else’s
The scary thing is that this mish-mash didn’t take long at all! I fact, it probably took me longer to type it than to think out much fuller versions of each of these bullet-points.