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I had a funny moment with the kids in my house yesterday and realised I haven’t shared any of their wisdom for a while. Enjoy!

TODAY’S TOPIC: the miracle of childbirth

Allow me to set the scene: ‘I’ (age 6) and ‘Z’ (age 7) are sitting on the floor of one of their bedrooms giggling like mad when I walk in.

I’m not sure what they’ve been watching beforehand – possibly Nativity 2, or perhaps Call the Midwife or One Born Every Minute(?), but I digress… The point is, they’ve recently worked out that babies “come from mummies tummies”. Then add to that my mentioning the other day that my cousin is having a baby. That’s the foundation, sure…

But some other outside stimulus surely led to the following conversation, COMPLETELY out of the blue:

Me: Good afternoon girls, what are you playing?
I: Your cousin’s going to be a SCREAMING woman!
Me: What?
Z: Yeah she’s really really gonna scream.
Me: What are you talking about?!
Z: Your cousin is having a baby. A woman has to scream to have a baby you know! She’ll have to scream lots and lots to make the baby come out.
I: Yeah, she’s gonna scream like this…
–> Queue lots of screaming & giggling from both of them!!

I chose that moment to exit and inform the mothers:

Just a heads up, your daughters have some questions that might need answering later… They are currently upstairs impersonating women in labour. Enjoy your lunch!

As I left the house, I heard one mum chuckle, “Oh dear, I’d better go upstairs and see how ‘the labour’ is progressing” while the rest of the parents in the room embarked on a frantic discussion over which “body book” is best to explain these things to kids. (Bless them, I don’t envy parents their job sometimes!)

I’m just relieved the kids didn’t put me on the spot and ask HOW the baby got in there in the first place!

…because I have no idea on that one.

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